


Acknowledging the Frost

by Mathais



Series: Through the Ice We Grow [2]
Category: Persona Series, Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Gen, References to Suicide Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 04:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mathais/pseuds/Mathais
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the world spirals around him, Jamie deals with issues he thought he'd gotten over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acknowledging the Frost

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and elements of either Rise of the Guardians or the Persona series.
> 
> Notes: There are a couple of changes in the last story, mainly with the weapons. Claude and Caleb now use a whip and a scythe respectively, as opposed to the war hammer and spear from before.

Ten Chewing Souls.

Fifteen Medical Kits.

A smattering of Patra Gems, a handful of Dis-Poisons, and a Dis-Charm.

Precious, precious beads of all types, from the individual use to the strung-together chains and the ones that woke up his unconscious friends.

A Soma that Jamie was loathe to use.

_It wasn't enough._

Jamie's pencil tapped the checklist on his desk and compared it to what the group had deemed their minimum requirements for tackling a new dungeon.  He then tallied up the exorbitant prices Trish charged and factored it with their current cash flow.

It might be enough.  It just might be enough, if Jamie put off patching up his staff—

"Jamie Bennett!"

Jamie jolted in his seat, pencil flying out of his grasp.  There was a smattering of quickly stamped out snickering, but Jamie ignored it in favor of reaching over and picking up his wayward utensil.  His English teacher looked down at him, face stern.

"What is the definition of the word 'ostracization'?" he asked.

Jamie gave the answer evenly. "It's when you exclude someone from a group by general consent."

His teacher merely grunted. "Pay attention next time," he said and moved on.

Jamie didn't care though.  He hunkered down in his seat and nudged his book closer to him but once again went back to his lists.

Jamie had somehow found himself leader of this ragtag group of Persona users, and so, as their leader, Jamie would be prepared.  At least this way, he could keep them all close to him.

He continued to work on his list, adding and subtracting, trying to get everything to balance while holding back a small emergency fund.  By the time class came to an end, Jamie thought he managed to get things done.  He'd had to make hard choices, which was why he was the one doing the books as opposed to, say, Claude, who excelled at math.

Jamie only looked up when the bell rang and his teacher said over the resulting din, "We're starting our unit on Norse mythology tomorrow.  You should do some preliminary research on the giants of myth, the Jotnar, and various creation myths."

Norse mythology was interesting, Jamie admitted in his head when he packed his bags.  It wasn't as familiar as some of the other mythologies he'd studied, but...  after meeting with Jack, he would admit to glancing over some passages on Niflheim and the frost giants that inhabited them.  He should look into that actually...  They'd been so focused on surviving that they had made little headway into the overall picture.

...and now that he thought of it, some of the names of the giants they fought did have some Norse-sounding origins.

Hmm...

Maybe—

"Jamie," Monty said.

Knocked out of his thoughts, Jamie looked up at the urgency in Monty's voice as he secured his bag. "Yeah?"

"Are we—"

"Monty!" another boy interrupted. "C'mon, we're going to be late for math!"

"Just a minute—" Monty said and turned back. "I mean, tonight?"

"Monty, we have to leave!"

"I—" Monty's eyes flicked back and forth between Jamie and his friend.

"It's fine.  I'll text everyone after school," Jamie said.

Monty stared at him for a long moment. "You always did have an affinity with Hanged Man cards," Monty murmured with a touch of guilt in his voice.  Before Jamie could say anything in response, Monty said his goodbyes and left.

That was odd, Jamie decided.  Why would Monty feel guilty?  Then again, Jamie wasn't as up to date on the Arcana as he would like to be—Monty and Pippa had quickly taken that up as their dominion.

Jamie continued to muse about it on the way to the cafeteria.  He shrugged and gave it up as a loss after a few more minutes and then sat down at a corner table, alone as usual.

He cracked open his math homework and got to work.

If nothing else, this ordeal had taught him a lot about time management.

**OoOoO**

The rest of school passed uneventfully.  Jamie sat in the back of classes that allowed him to, and he quietly made plans.

Monty's analytical abilities were getting better.  He might be able to pick something out about the places they'd been in, which meant they could start making headways into the why's of the situation instead of focusing on the what's.  If they could do that, maybe they could start reaching whatever endgame this entire thing had.

Absentmindedly, Jamie opened his locker and nudged away a few of the notes shoved inside, which fluttered uselessly to the ground.  He'd long since learned to ignore whatever they said, and so he instead put his unneeded textbooks inside.  With his math homework done, he'd probably need his chemistry book tonight, and he didn't have to worry about history today.  He readjusted his backpack, and when he shut his locker, Cupcake was there, mouth pressed into a thin line.

Jamie winced as she reached down and picked up one of the papers.  When she looked up, fire blazed in her eyes. "What...  What is this?"

"Don't worry about it," he said.

"Jamie—"

"It's _fine_ ," he stressed.  Without even looking, he gathered the fallen notes, crumpled them in one fist, and tossed them in the trash.

He didn't need to see them to know what they said.

"If they're doing this..." Cupcake said tightly.

"They're just being teenagers," Jamie said. "It's nothing."

Nothing compared to what it had been, could be, anyway.

Jamie's back stiffened as Cupcake seemed to emit a sub-vocal growl.  Her fist clenched, and Jamie knew, just knew, that if she had a sword in her grasp, he'd been fleeing so fast you would've thought Pippa had hit him with a Sukukaja spell.

"Cut it out," he hissed. "It's just notes.  They don't mean anything."

Far from placated, Cupcake instead glared at him. "How can you brush it off like that?"

The words bubbled up in Jamie's chest, even as he forced himself not to react.  _Because it's no different than what happened last week or last month or even the last couple of **years**._   He clamped them down and buried them in his heart, because this was neither the time nor the place for that.  Instead, he offered Cupcake a soft but distant smile. "They can't affect me unless I let them."

This time, Cupcake's sub-vocal growl turned outright audible as she spun around, grumbled, "Suit yourself," and stormed off.

Jamie was left blinking in the metaphorical dust.

"Huh," was all he could say as he turned back to his locker and made sure it was locked.

On his way out of school, he absentmindedly texted everyone in the group to expect a trek out that night.  There were affirmative responses all around, though he'd have to tell Sophie in person once he made it home.

Before he did that though, he needed to make a little stop.  His school wasn't too far from downtown, and Jamie could make it there in fifteen minutes.  His footsteps, quiet from months spent dodging Shadows and demons and from even before that people he didn't want to meet, let him blend into the exiting crowd of students and slip out unnoticed.

He made his way into the shopping district, eyes scanning the shops without really seeing them.  There was only one place he really needed to go to, and when his eyes caught sight of the glowing blue entrance, he knew he was there.

"Welcome to the Velvet Room."

Those words greeted him as soon as he touched the door and was transported into this place that existed between dream and reality, mind and matter.

The room was blue as far as the eye could see.  The soft strum of a piano mixed in with a beautiful, haunting soprano voice wrapped around him, and Jamie found his shoulders loosening in spite of himself.  The blind pianist sat at the back, fingers gracefully dancing over the ivory keys in front of him as his partner, the singer, sang without hearing anything.  Under their effects, Jamie felt freer, more open, like the armor around his soul was loosened a little.

The one who had spoken was the aged man who sat a couch at the very center of a raised dais.  Jamie would be the first to admit that he looked creepy, with disproportionately long limbs, large, blood-shot eyes, and a very prominent nose, but they had no stronger ally at the moment.

"Hello Igor.  How have you been?"

"I've been doing well, my guest," Igor said with a smile. "I see that your journey goes well.  Would you like to inspect the shards you have obtained thus far?"

"No, thank you," Jamie shook his head. "I wanted to do some upgrades, if at all possible."

"Of course.  What upgrades do you wish to perform?"

"I want to learn Ice Break," Jamie said. "I have the requisite cards too."

"Ah, I see.  Wonderful.  If you would please hand over your Persona card, I will perform the ritual."

With an ease born from long practice and desperate situations, Jamie called to his hand a twinkling blue card.  One side depicted a mask, the other, a traveler on a journey—the Fool.  No matter how many times he did this, however, it still felt weird to hand over the card as opposed to shattering it to summon his Persona.

Igor was nodding thoughtfully as the card hovered in front of him.  The cards Jamie mentioned, paler imitations of the one he handed over, flashed into existence around his Persona's card.

The Moon, the Fool, and the Hanged Man—the three suits of the Major Arcana that resonated with him the most.

Lines formed between the cards until they became a complex seal, and in a flash of light, only his Persona card was left.  When the card floated back into his hand, Jamie felt a new wellspring of power.

"It is fortunate that your enemies leave behind these cards when you vanquish them," Igor said. "They are a boon on your journey."

"I know," Jamie agreed. "We'd be lost without them."

"My master wishes we could do more for you."

Jamie's lips twisted in a wry smile. "This is enough.  It is not his fault that he can't give us more."

None of them were Wild Cards, the fabled Persona users who could switch Personas at will.  They also didn't have the blessings of Igor's master, which would have allowed them to switch to compatible Personas among a pool that they shared.  They were stuck with what they started out with, for better or for worse.

"Besides, being able to upgrade our Personas is good too." At least they weren't completely alone.  It could have been so much worse.

"Of course." Igor inclined his head. "Is there something else you wish to do?"

"Not at this moment.  Thank you for your time."

"Farewell then, honored guest, and good luck on your journey."

"Farewell."

Jamie exited the blue room and immediately did an about-face, entering the shining yellow door right next to it.

This time, his greeting was much more informal.

"Hey, hey Jamie!  How ya doing?"

Jamie felt an unabashed grin cross his face almost unwillingly. "Hey Puck!"

As opposed to the regal, otherworldly bearing of the Velvet Room, this space was warmer, brighter, even though it was just an entrance hall.  It split off into two different rooms, with a set of lockers on one side where the group stored their equipment between trips.  Out of one of the rooms came a tall, lithe man with fine features and dressed in browns and greens.  The only thing betraying his true species was the fineness of his features and the way his ears tapered off into defined points.  It was he who greeted Jamie as he entered, fingers idly playing tricks with a coin.

"I'm doing good," Jamie continued. "How about you?"

"I've been doing good!  Running some errands for the king and all, and playing around here and there!" Puck winked with one bright green eye.  Jovial as always, he continued to chatter on, "I managed to dig up some sapphires that I think would go great for a new staff for you!  Man, that dog's going to be so mad when he wakes up, but it's his fault for falling asleep!"

"You'll have to tell me the story sometime," Jamie said with a chuckle. "Sounds interesting!"

"It is!  Now, c'mon, spend some macca and let's get cracking!"

Jamie felt his smile slip a little. "Sorry, Puck.  Don't have enough cash on me today."

Puck visibly drooped. "Aw man, are you sure?"

"I need to pay a visit to Trish."

"Again?  Dude, you should be finding more of this stuff in the dungeons!  You know how much Trish charges," Puck warned. "I have an idea for this wicked staff, sapphire and frostpine accented with silver!"

For a moment, Jamie was tempted, so very tempted, but he barely managed to resist. "Next time, Puck.  Next time.  I think Cupcake's got an idea about incorporating some meteorite we found."

"Ooh, that's cool too!  If we add in that in with Draupnir gold, then maybe..." Puck quickly lost himself in his work, returning back to his workspace.

Jamie smiled after Puck before steeling himself for who he was about to visit.

"Hello, customer!  Welcome to Trish's Supplies!  Please, take a look at our products!" Jamie could almost hear the perky star tacked on the end of the introduction.

The room was as bright as a show floor, open, inviting, and filled to the brim with products.  Jamie perused the aisles laid out like a small convenience store, glancing and wincing at the prices, which always seemed to increase whenever he came.  He filled his basket with Dis-Charms and Dis-Rages, hovering over before eventually deciding that a couple of Amrita Sodas wouldn't be a bad idea.  He tossed in some Medicine and Snuff Souls as well as a few Medical Kits, topping it off with a Homunculus that Trish rarely had in stock.  When he had his entire list crossed off, Jamie made his way to the counter, where a faerie in a bright pink uniform grinned at him, wings fluttering.

"Oh hello there, Jamie~  I see you're purchasing from my fine establishment once more."

"Hello, Trish," Jamie said politely.

He barely refrained from wincing when the final total came up.  That was _a lot_ of macca he was giving up, and the exchange rate between macca and US dollars wasn't all that hot in the first place.

"It is a pleasure doing service with you!  Please come again!"

 _"Not if I can help it!"_ Jamie grumbled mentally, because seriously, gearing up on basic necessities should not be costing this much macca, and they still had armor and weapons to do maintenance on with Puck.

Damn money-grubbing Trish; he could see why Oberon had her cast out to try and remove her greediness.  It wasn't working, but Jamie appreciated the attempt; they'd have no other way of getting supplies but scouring the dungeons each day otherwise.  He just wished that she learned her lesson instead of participating in such price-gouging.

Jamie rolled his shoulders as he dropped off his purchases in the entrance hall.  It was time to head back and tell Sophie that they'd be fighting tonight.  With that thought, he exited this special space, secure in the knowledge that no one but his friends could see the comings and goings through these doors.

Jamie quickly made his way home, making sure to stay only on the main roads.  It didn't hurt to be safe.

**OoOoO**

Jamie threw out a Bufu with pinpoint accuracy.  The ice spell froze a demon's leg to the ground right before it could slash Cupcake with its sword.  Cupcake cut it down with her electrified blade, just as Sophie waved her boomerang in their direction and a healing spell settled in their bones.  Jamie grinned at Cupcake, but she didn't even acknowledge him as she turned toward another demon, and Jamie let the smile fall off of his face.

She still hadn't forgiven him, and Jamie didn't even know what was wrong.

Grumbling quietly to himself, Jamie spun his staff and watched another demon closely.  This one liked biding its time, dodging attacks until it managed to pin its attacker down with elemental arrows.  It was pretty good at guessing their weaknesses too.

Jamie reacted to it drawing back its bow with a gust of wind.  The cutting gale couldn't stop the magical arrow the demon released, however, and Jamie found himself flat on his back when it went through his shoulder and set him on fire.

Gasping through the pain, Jamie felt one of Sophie's stronger healing spells wash over him as Pippa offered him a hand.  Taking it set him back on his feet as Pippa launched a Garula spell, blowing the archer off its feet with her own gale.  Without pause, Jamie closed in and stabbed down with the pointed end of his staff.  The demon disappeared under his assault, leaving nothing but macca and a few cards behind.

Catching his breath, he called out to Monty, "How are we doing?"

"We're doing good," Monty said. "I think we're getting close to the stairs.  I also think I managed to figure out this building's name."

That caught Jamie's attention, and from the looks of it, everyone else's as well. "Yeah?"

"Lay it on us!" Claude said.

"It's called Alfheim."

"The world of the elves?" Pippa asked, surprised, before Jamie had a chance to even process the name.

"What?"

"Alfheim is one of the Nine Worlds in Norse mythology," Pippa explained. "I don't know much more than that, unfortunately, other than it may or may not be led by the god Freyr."

"But that ties into the elven theme we've been seeing in the demons here," Jamie noted. "Do you know much about the Norse elves?"

"Not much," Pippa admitted. "I mean, some say that there are light and dark elves.  Anything else and I start running into pop culture."

"Pop culture seems to be helping us out here," Monty said. "Humanoid with diverse magical and weapon skills?  An overabundance of archers?  That describes most of the demons we've come across."

"And there seems to be light-dark dichotomy," Jamie agreed. "Particularly in their weaknesses."

Pippa's Hamaon and Caleb's Mudoon were seeing a lot of use today.

"Monty, after we clear this dungeon, we're checking the others too."

"Yes sir!" Monty said with a mock salute, but the sentiment behind the words was real.

"Has anyone else noticed anything?" Jamie asked.

"Sword-wielding ones seem to be physically resistant," Cupcake noted.

"The mages tend to be weak to the opposite of the last spell they cast," Sophie chimed in. "They reflect everything else." Jamie winced; he hated those in particular.  They were hard-pressed to adapt to those tactics, as specialized as they tended to be with their elements.  Before, they had to send in Cupcake or Claude to either slice or pound them until they smartened up and used the Velvet Room to spread out of the elements more among them.  It was still very hit or miss, however, on how well they dealt with them.

"Archers aim for elements too, but they take a while to attack," Caleb said. "If you can get to them fast enough, they don't have enough time to draw."

"Their arrows are on the -dyne level though," Claude added. "Pretty good about targeting weaknesses too."

Jamie rubbed his shoulder.  Yeah, that arrow had certainly felt like an Agidyne, one of the strongest fire spells that Jamie ever had the displeasure of being on the wrong end of.

"I haven't seen anyone with light or darkness attacks," Pippa said, "but it's only a matter of time."

"Watch your backs you two," Jamie murmured, and Pippa and Caleb nodded.  As their light and darkness specialists respectively, they were vulnerable to the opposing element, and given how a successful light or dark spell knocked you out cold, enemies who hit their weaknesses often forced them to burn through their Revival Beads like candy.  Their only saving grace was that Sophie had learned Recarm to revive them and that for all her youth and size, she had a monstrous pool of magical energy.

"Okay then, we'll continue," Jamie said.

Jamie took the lead, with Pippa and Cupcake flanking him.  Sophie and Monty took the middle, while Caleb and Claude brought up the rear.  As leader, Jamie often took point and rotated the others in and out of lead positions based on enemy weaknesses.  Sophie was usually with him because she was their primary healer, and it was a toss-up on the rest depending on whether physical or magical attacks were needed.

Of the others, Jamie usually got along with Monty and Cupcake the best, and they tended to joke as they went.  Today, though, was quiet.

Cupcake stared resolutely forward as they walked.  She had a tense grip on her sword that made Jamie wary to bother her.  He _still_ didn't know what was wrong with her, and they'd exchanged no words save for updates on their progress.

Pippa and Sophie chatted behind him, while Caleb and Claude were deep into their own conversation.  Monty chimed in occasionally, but any of Jamie's attempts to converse were rebuffed as he said he had to focus on scanning their surroundings.

This was the normal way of things though.  What else should he expected?

Jamie pushed it out of his mind and spun his staff once more, centering himself with the cool feeling of wood against his fingers.

It wasn't too long before they ended up in front of a pretty solid set of doors.  Out of reflex, Jamie looked back at Monty, who eyes were wide open behind his glasses but not focused on the immediate world.

"We should be going in this direction," he said after a moment, "but I'm getting a bad feeling.  The room in front of us is big but empty."

"But we're not at the top yet!" Sophie blurted.

"Kind of ominous, dude," Claude added.

Jamie was forced to agree.  A suspiciously empty room, not at the very end of a dungeon?  This all but screamed trap, if the video games he'd played meant anything.  There was no way to the next floor except through this room, however, and Jamie had a nagging suspicion that this one of the fixed floors in the dungeon, ones that continued to have the same format no matter which night they came.  They'd have to tackle it eventually, and Jamie figured that as long as they had momentum on their side, they might as well go through with it.

"We're making good time today," Jamie said. "I'm in favor of continuing forward, at least until the next floor."

Jamie looked at the others to gauge their interest.  Seeing more or less agreement, Jamie placed his hands on the doors and pushed.

They slid open without a sound, and the group of seven friends entered.  When the last of them cleared the threshold, the door slid shut behind them and disappeared.

Caleb immediately whirled, fingers scrabbling for purchase on the now smooth wall behind him. "Fuck," he cursed, "I can't find the exit."

"I think I have a Traesto Gem—" Jamie was saying as he dug through a pouch attached to his belt when a very familiar voice spoke up.

" **Aw, running away?  And just when we were getting started.** "

The entire group save for Jamie snapped their weapons into ready positions, while Jamie himself felt a deep, sinking feeling open in his gut.

He recognized that voice.

And when he looked up, he saw himself.  The figure looked just like him, down to the very clothes he wore.  Even the staff he casually tossed from hand to hand was an exact copy of his.  The only things that were different were his bright yellow eyes and the dark sneer on his face.

" **But you were always good at that kind of things, weren't you?** " his doppelganger continued, his voice echoing with unnaturally doubled tone. " **Running away from all your problems.** "

"Who the hell are you?" Claude snarled.

" **Isn't it obvious?  It's me, Jamie Bennett!** " the teenager in front of him laughed. " **You know, your leader.  The one who started this entire mess because I just wanted to see you guys again!** "

The put in his gut hardened into stone.  No, no, this was impossible. "I don't—"

" **I mean, really now.  The 'Persona Game'?  That's just some bullshit rumor I heard on the net.  I can't believe you all decided to join me,** " his counterpart continued. " **I guess the pity finally won out, huh?  'Poor little Jamie,' you think.  Still hung up on childish fairytales.  One last indulgence for the boy for refuses to grow up.** "

Jamie flinched with each new sentence, not because of their acidity or the mocking edge within them but because of the thread of truth in those words.

"Jamie, that's not—" Pippa began but his counterpart cut her off.

" **Oh, don't give me that crap.  I know you of all people don't care.  Bright and shiny Pippa, couldn't be bothered to even look up from her book to say hi until half a year ago.  The Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny—they're all too childish for you when you got to the _real_ myths, and so you cast off your childhood and tried to be an adult, but you could never get beyond the fact that you're still just a child, playing at being a grown up.  No room for childish things anymore—not room for childish _people_.** "

Pippa recoiled so harshly that she took a physical step back.  Caleb immediately stepped in front of her, scythe at ready, but then Jamie's reflection turned his gaze to him and grinned maliciously.

" **Hey, it's Caleb.  You're finally stepping up to the plate, huh?  Finally starting to act.  You've spent so long skulking around in the shadows, getting into trouble, and now you're trying to be a knight in shining armor?  As if,** " Jamie's counterpart snorted. " **I mean, it's only a matter of time before you do something worse than petty vandalism.  I mean, sure, Ms. Fullster's flamingo was an affront to all decency; dying it bright blue made it better.  And Mrs. Allen won't miss that lawn gnome from her late husband right?  What's the problem with 'a few harmless pranks'?  All I need to do is just mind my own damn business next time.** "

Caleb's face rapidly paled as his grip tightened until his knuckles were pure white.  Claude immediately moved to defend his twin. "Leave him alone!  You don't understand anything!"

" **Oh, but I do.  I do understand!** " His counterpart laughed his mocking laugh again and disappeared in a whisper, reappearing in front of Claude as if it were nothing. " **I understand you, Claude.  Star of the football team, linebacker and all around good guy.  Strong and popular, everything you ever wanted to be.  You're secure in your place on the food chain, even if it means damning every else underneath you.  I mean, what's a few old friends to the future, anyhow?  So what if you hear some things?  Keeping the status quo is that much more important, isn't it?  You just turn a blind eye to what you hear, because as long as you are safe, nothing else matters.** "

With an angry snarl, Claude lashed out with his whip, but Jamie's reflection danced away, still laughing.  Cupcake stepped in, sword moving to close off his escape routes, but his doppelganger jumped and twisted away in a move so familiar that Jamie's breath was stolen away.

He'd done the same thing to Cupcake the last time they'd sparred.

" **Ah, Cupcake.  Strong, silent Cupcake.  In line to be the next captain of the track team, so you're always busy running and running.  Running away from your past, running away from your guilt.  The past is the past, so you want to rush headlong into the future.  Never think about what you did, who you were.  A little push here and a shove there for someone who was annoying you.  You're a better person now, so what you did before shouldn't matter, right?  As long as you never stop, the guilt of your past can never catch up to you.  You never have to make amends for what you did.** "

Cupcake turned green as she wavered, denial left unspoken on graying lips.  Jamie's counterpart whistled jauntily as he circled the seven of them, not one of them meeting his gaze directly.  Jamie felt Sophie curl up against his back, shivering, as his reflection turned to Monty.

" **You could never say what you wanted upfront, Monty.  You never could stand up to someone directly, and so you destroy from the sidelines.  I mean, really, you're too scared to say no to a person's face.  It's so much easier for you to just talk to the right people off to the side, a whisper in someone's ear and a rumor begun.** " Jamie's counterpart's mouth twisted up into an impressed sneer. " **It's kind of beautiful to watch what you can do with your words.  The world's a giant stage for you, and all you need to do it pull the right strings, and everyone else falls to pieces.** "

Jamie watched as Monty's gaze dropped to the ground, but his heart was thudding too loudly in the chest to focus.  Nausea swept through him.  Bile rose in his throat at the sound of his voice, his face, and his movements ripping into all of his friends.  When his doppelganger's eyes fell onto him, Jamie braced himself for the worst until he realized that he wasn't the target.

" **And you, Sophie.  The brat, the center of the universe.  Everything has to be about you all the time.  It's always 'me, me, me!'  You have to come along whenever anyone visits, and you take anything for yourself.  'Oh, that's a nice present you got there!'** " his counterpart mocked in a falsetto. " **'Can I see?  Mine now!'  No idea about the meaning behind anything.  No respect for people's boundaries.  As long as the light's shining on you, you're perfectly fine.  You don't care about anyone but yourself—** "

"Shut up," Jamie found himself saying as he strode to the front of all of his friends, pushing the trembling, crying Sophie behind him.  His hands shook as he moved, and the sick feeling permeating throughout him didn't fade, but still he walked. "Shut up.  You shouldn't be saying all of that."

" **Hello, me.  Like what we've done?** " The edge of his counterpart's mouth rose in a mocking sneer. " **I mean, this is nothing you haven't seen or thought yourself.** "

"How do you know this?"

" **Get with the program!  I know you usually have your head stuck in the clouds, but, really, this is getting kind of lame.  I'm your Shadow!  I'm _you_.** " His doppelganger hefted his staff his shoulders, looking for all the world like he was just casually hanging out.  Like he wasn't tearing holes in everything that Jamie held dear, wearing his face and using his voice. " **And what a person we are.** "

"No." Nausea crystalized into physical pain by this point, paralyzing him despite his resolve.

" **At the core of it all, you hate them.  You hate everyone.  You just wish that they all would disappear.  Everyone abandoned you, right?  Poor little Jamie Bennett, still believing in things like Santa Claus and Bigfoot.  Really, you're a high school student who goes on Easter egg hunts and tells his little sister to put her tooth under her pillow and talks to winter as if Jack Frost actually exists.** "

"Stop it."

" **Pathetic, isn't it?  About to finish high school and still a child.  Really though, he deserves to get beat up all the time, and all those notes in the locker?  They're nothing.  Hell, maybe it'll make him grow up a little.  No lasting marks, so no harm, right?  He's just loser Jamie Bennett.  He doesn't have any friends who'd care.** "

"Stop."

" **You try and take the high route.  It's fine, after all.  You'll ignore everything.  You just need to get through high school, and people'll be more accepting in college, right?** " His Shadow continued to pace as he spoke, staff bouncing from hand to hand, while Jamie himself stood frozen, rooted, with a shaky grip on his own weapon. " **But you know, just know, deep in your heart that people are the same anywhere.  It'd just be a rehash of high school all over again.  And you can't do it again.** "

"Stop, please." Jamie's voice was barely above a whisper by now.  He knew what was coming.

" **You hate being alone though, even more than the sneers and the taunts.  Despite your hatred, you crave contact, which is why you decided to try and play that Persona game.  It's supposed to bind friends together.  You were really surprised when they actually showed up though, when they played with you, even Sophie.  You weren't expecting that.  I mean, there's a reason why you held the game on the roof of the school at the beginning of spring.** "

"Please don't say anything," he pleaded.  Jamie would have given anything and everything to stop what came next.

" **You didn't want anyone to save you when you jumped.** "

Hot shame welled up inside of him as Jamie felt himself become the full focus of the entire room.  Guilt, fear, and nausea rolled in his stomach, and it took all of his willpower to not puke all over the ground.  He felt like his entire soul was laid bare, all the worst parts of himself on display.  Secrets he'd kept were now brought to sight in the harshest light possible.

"Jamie—" Cupcake trailed off.

" **Above all else, you hate yourself.  You hate how empty you feel.  You hate how much you crave for Jack to come visit you, how much you need the trips he takes you on.  You want him to whisk you away from this life, and you hate yourself for being so weak.  So you just want to end it.** "

" **After all, nobody cares about you.** "

"That's not—" Jamie tried to say. "I'm not—"

" **Not what?  Not this weak, not this pathetic?  You keep forgetting; I know everything.  I'm your _Shadow_.  I'm _you_.** "

"You're not—"

Jamie bit his tongue before the denial could pass his lips.

He didn't know how long he stood there, starting at the ground, nothing but the fierce beating his heart in his ears.

He wanted to deny it.  He wanted to bury it all again.  This past half a year had been beautiful, glorious.  It was a reclamation of his past.  It was like he was a kid all over again, rushing into the night to save the world from fear itself.  Jamie honestly thought he was doing better, and his relationship with his friends had never been better.

But Jamie also knew that there was truth in these words.  They were far from incorrect.  And Jamie had never run away from the truth, never blinded himself to reality.

So he wavered on this precipice, wondering which way he'd fall, unable to take another step.

Until he felt Monty's arms wrap around him behind.  It was awkward and hesitant, but the feeling was genuine. "Jamie...  I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry."

Jamie didn't look up.

"I didn't realize it was so bad.  For all that I see, I can't...  I can't believe I never noticed before.  No, I did notice, but I never acted.  Can you forgive me for all of this, Jamie?"

He didn't respond.

"I'm sorry too, Jamie." Cupcake's voice was a low rumble to his left.  A little rough, a little shy, but obviously trying, like her hand that covered his wrist. "For everything that I did."

"You...  You deserve to be here too," Claude said from behind him, a warm presence on his shoulder. "You're one of the best, brightest people know.  I tried, but not hard enough, and it was easier..." He hesitated, struggling with his words. "I don't have the right words, dude, but I'm sorry for not doing anything."

"You always had my back." Caleb's voice was soft, as was the flutter of his touch on his opposite shoulder. "Even with all the shit I did, you always held me back.  Every time I could've done worse, I remembered you, and I couldn't do it.  Not Claude, not my parents, but you, Jamie.  Thank you."

"I was always jealous of your belief." Pippa's gentle hand grasped his remaining wrist. "You always believed so strongly, so brightly, and I...  I can't compete with that.  I thought that if I grew up, maybe I could outshine you.  You were always a better person."

"Jamie," Sophie said, tugging at his hoodie's sleeve, and Jamie raised his eyes a little, finally seeing the tear-filled eyes of his little sister. "You're...  You're not going to leave, are you?  I—" She sniffed back tears. "I love you, big bro.  I don't want to lose you.  Please don't go.  Please."

Shame rolled in his stomach once more.

He never wanted to make his little sister cry.

He never wanted to make his friends cry.

" **Aw, would you look at that?  It looks like they _care_.  Of course, it's only because you're shoving your problems in their face, but hey, it's better than nothing.** "

"Shut up."

This time, those words were not some paltry plea.  This time, there was force behind them, raw and unyielding.  Jamie's eyes gazed forward, his stance resolute.

"Shut up, you fucking Shadow.  Shut up and listen to me.  Everything you said?  That's all true.  I acknowledge it.  A part of me does hate everybody.  A part of me does want to end it.  And yeah, it might be fucking true that I was going to jump that day if no one showed up.  You know what, though?"

"None of that matters anymore."

"The past can be amended for.  The future holds infinite possibilities, and I intend to find them for myself.  People change, people grow.  I'll only truly stop when I'm dead, and fuck that, I've still got so much to learn and so much to do." Jamie met his Shadow's startled yellow eyes head on. "I lost it for a while, but I know now that I love everyone here.  And if you're truly my Shadow, then you're as much a part of me as I am you, so you know that to be true too."

There was a sneer on his Shadow's face, but it was a weak thing.  It looked like his resolution had shaken him.

" **So you're just going to accept that?** "

"Yeah, and do you know why?  You should." Jamie's mouth quirked up into a pure version of his Shadow's lop-sided smile, this one fierce yet somehow kind and lacking his Shadow's mocking nature. "I know me.  And it looks like a part of me needs a beating to remind it why they're only a part of the whole."

"Jamie—" Monty started, but Jamie shook his head.

"Sorry guys, but this is something I need to do on my own." With a smile though, he met the eyes of all of his friends and family. "Still, you're here with me too.  I know I can do it."

One by one, his team stepped back, trusting him with this.  Spinning his staff into a ready position, Jamie faced his Shadow, his dark reflection, and found it lacking. "I'll show you the truth of who we are!"

His Shadow's face twisted into a snarl. " **And I'll show you the truth as well!  You're a weak, pathetic, empty thing, and nothing more! _Black Frost!_** " Much like how his Shadow was a dark reflection of himself, the Persona he summoned was an inverted mirror of his Jack Frost, black and purple where his was white and blue.  Overall, it looked far more dangerous, and the Atomic Bufula that it called proved just how much so.

Though Jack Frost granted him some resistance to ice, Jamie didn't want to chance it and he dove forward into a roll as soon as the icy mist which heralded the spell appeared beneath his feet.  A glacier rose where he was moments before, but Jamie was already moving, swinging his staff at his counterpart's face.  The crooked heads of their staves met with a loud crack, and soon the two of them were dancing across the room.

They matched each other blow for blow, their fighting styles as much a mirror as their bodies.  When Jamie swept in low, his counterpart leapt into the air, wreathed his staff in a Bufu spell, and stabbed down—a combination he himself was known to do at times.  Jamie blocked the hit, feeling chill sweep through his body, and locked his opponent's staff to him.  Jack Frost came to life behind him, the arctic snowflake from a Bufula spell slamming into his foe from behind.

It did nothing.

Jamie's eyes widened as his spell was simply absorbed, and his Shadow gave a nasty grin as fire lanced down his arms.  Jamie backpedaled swiftly, staff swinging to ward off any chase. "Hah!" his Shadow crowed. "Can't take the heat, huh?"

" _Sorry about that,_ " Monty said in his head. " _Just completed scanning.  He absorbs fire and ice and blocks light and dark._ "

Jamie grunted in acknowledgement, switching tactics.  This wasn't the first time he'd dealt with a foe immune to ice, and while it was the cornerstone of his abilities and his absolute specialty, he was by no means crippled by its sealing.

Green swirled into existence around him as he focused his will into cutting winds.  The Magarula spell launched forward at blinding speeds, Jamie not far behind them.  His Shadow took to the air with a burst of wind to dodge, but Jamie met him there, his staff shining blue.  He hooked his Shadow by the leg and dragged him close before punching the smirk off of his face.

This was so, so satisfying.

He drove his opponent to the ground and followed it up with a Garu spell, which manifested as a direct blast of wind that caused his Shadow to actually bounce off the floor, where Jamie met him a boot to the head.

Jamie wasn't prepared for the maelstrom that followed, however, and he nearly screamed with flames blossomed around him, setting clothes on fire.  He cast Bufu on himself to put out his burning clothes, only for his Shadow to catch him in the stomach with a red-hot staff.  He found himself flat on his back, coughing up blood when his Shadow kicked his legs from beneath him, and then Black Frost was upon him, body encased in fire.

Desperate, Jamie forced his body to move, and he just barely avoided the crater Black Frost made.  He swiped his staff into Black Frost's body, both Persona and summoner flinching from the hit.  The pause was enough for Jamie to get his bearings back, and he continued to attack, green winds enhancing his strikes with the wind element as he did his level best to beat down his Shadow.

Much like any inner demon, however, his Shadow didn't just take it.  He fought back just as harshly, and every swipe of his staff left flames in its wake.  Jamie could feel the fires that his Shadow's attacks left sap his strength with heat.  As long as he put on the pressure, his opponent couldn't cast any direct spells stronger than an Agi, but it was tiring him out to continually attack, especially with the enchantments he was keeping on his staff.  Each new blow was weaker than the last.  Eventually, he wouldn't be able to maintain this pace, as he grew sloppier and sloppier until it left an opening too big to cover.

His Shadow knew it too. " **Aw, I guess this is all it takes, huh?  Just a little heat, and you melt like snow,** " he taunted as Black Frost burst out with a fiery punch.

"As if," Jamie countered, spinning his staff into an icy whirlwind.

" **Did you forget?  Ice doesn't—** " his Shadow choked when Black Frost flinched back from the attack. " **What, but I—** "

Jamie grinned.

It wasn't pretty.

"I'm not the person I was before," he said. "I've grown and changed so much over these past few months.  I'm not empty anymore, and _you will not get in my way_."

"Also?" Jamie added off-handedly as he slammed his staff down. "I've been hitting you with Ice Break for the past minute.  Your ice absorption means nothing to me."

From the tip of his staff, a great geyser of ice rose and engulfed his Shadow.  Entombed in layers upon layers of ice from his super-charged Bufudyne spell, his Shadow could not even blink, let alone move.  Now with his complete and undivided attention, Jamie focused his will and his magic and called upon his strongest technique.

"This is the end!  Mabufudyne!" Eight glittering, razor-sharp shards of ice appeared behind him.  Compared the massive manifestation before him, they looked weak, almost flimsy, if not for the fact that they glowed an unearthly blue and cooled the air around them to the point that they dropped mist on the ground.  Jabbing his staff forward, all eight shot out and impacted his frozen Shadow at the same time.

The ice detonated.  It was almost as if a bomb had been set off in the room, as every bit of ice Jamie had trapped his Shadow in exploded in a show of frozen might.  Fragments of pulverized ice engulfed the area, choking even the seemingly unquenchable flames his Shadow had created.  In the aftermath, nothing but gently falling snow remained in a blast radius of pure ice, and Jamie at the center of it all.

"Holy shit," Claude breathed into the awed silence.

Jamie felt serene as he walked up to his kneeling Shadow. "Hey there."

His Shadow was silent as he stared up at him, but Jamie thought his expression looked softer than before.

"Come here, all right?  I'm you and you're me, and together we can move forward."

His Shadow smiled.  It lacked the edge of mocking and derision that had so marked all of his interactions.  Jamie's heart clenched at what had to have been his Shadow's genuinely happy smile.  His Shadow whispered, " **I am thou, and thou art I,** " before fading into light.  Jamie felt a new weight settle inside of him, and he was all the stronger for it.  His soul felt scoured, rubbed clean of its festering wounds.  He wasn't healed, not yet, not by a long shot, but he still felt better, freer, than he had in a long time.

And with this new power, this resolute heart beating inside of his chest, he felt something within shift and change.

Without his calling, his Persona appeared.

Jack Frost hovered above him, smiling, but this time different.  His little hand waved before the image shattered and reformed.

And then Jamie couldn't breathe.

 _"From the sea of your soul, I come.  The Winter Prince and Guardian of Fun, here to protect you forever more,"_ he announced.

_"I am Jack Frost."_

"Jack," Jamie whispered, reverent.

...and then his Persona smiled, and he looked no different from the Jack that he knew, the Jack that he hadn't seen in months, and it was all Jamie could do to not break down in tears, because this was _Jack_ and even if it was but a shard of him, an image crafted from and reinforced by Jamie's thoughts and beliefs, it was _Jack_.

_"I will protect you, Jamie."_

Jack then disappeared, coming to rest inside of his soul once more, and this was a precious, precious gift.

Suddenly drained, Jamie stumbled, only for his entire team to come to his aid.

"I'm kind of tired, guys," he murmured.

"We should head back," Cupcake announced. "...and I think we need to have a long talk."

"A long overdue one," Monty said.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry about what my Shadow said." Jamie knew that he wasn't the only one his Shadow had hurt; truths that he'd left unspoken had been hurled at his friends and family too.  None of them showed it, but they too were also shaken, and not just by the revelations of Jamie himself.

But Jamie had faith now.  Faith and belief he'd lacked before.  He thought that they could make it past this.

Jamie was about to dig for that Traesto Gem when he froze.

"Jamie?" Pippa asked.

"Monty!" he snapped. "What's that?"

The silvery glow of Monty's Persona surrounded him in an instant, just as darkness formed where his Shadow once had been.  It fled before long.  From Monty's light curses, Jamie knew what the answer would be, but still he asked, "Did you get anything?"

"No, no.  I'm sorry Jamie, but it was gone too fast.  All I know is that it was really powerful.  If I ever scan it again, I'll be able to pick it out."

"I—" Before Jamie could say anything more, the world began to spin, and he slumped against Cupcake. "We'll deal with it later.  Can you guys get me home?"

"Of course."

As the Traesto Gem swallowed them whole to transport them out of the dungeon, Jamie had one last look at the frozen and blasted chamber, and he felt... content.

They were nowhere near done yet, with both the dungeon and the issues his Shadow raised.

But they were acknowledging a problem that'd so long stayed dormant.  And the first step to healing was to acknowledge what was wrong, right?

Jamie had to trust that things would get better in the future.

He'd make sure of it.

**OoOoO**

Even months later, after conquering even more dungeons, they still hadn't figured out what that darkness had been.  The rest of Alfheim had held the Shadows of his team, and they'd all conquered their inner demons and had their Personas undergo the same metamorphosis.

But Jamie's Shadow remained different.  He had been the only one the darkness had appeared after, and he'd also been the only one to attack anyone other than their counterpart, physically or verbally.  His aggression marked him as completely different from the others.

Jamie still didn't know what it meant.

But he felt freer now than he had in the past year, and they were growing ever closer to figuring out the truth to what plagued their town.

Combined with his stabilizing emotional health...  Jamie was more than content.

He was the happiest he'd been in a long time.

When Cupcake and Monty called him out for a movie, Jamie did the first thing that came to mind.

He smiled and accepted.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Well, this went darker than originally planned, but, hey, you gotta go where the muse takes you.


End file.
